I know every mother says this, but I gotta tell you… When our daughter, I’Naru, was born I felt every neuron spark into a whole new level of awareness.
And then, it hit me like, WOAH!!!…
I knew… that I knew nothing. Like, what am I supposed to do with a whole’nother being? What I imagined parenting to be was so pretty and this was pretty complex. And just to add another layer of complexity, 18 months later, my son Paquito, joined the mix! Uff, yeah, two children under the age of two! What were we thinking?!!!
To be perfectly honest, I spend most my days guessing what they need. To put myself completely out there, I struggle with many mom insecurities. Matter of fact, I have yet to meet a mother that doesn’t struggle with the same mental warfare. This is serious y'all!!!
So, here is what I have learned from God’s word and I'm just gonna leave this verse right here…
You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. (John 15:16)
Here is Jesus, hours before his crucifixion, the labor that delivered eternal life to us all, giving his farewell address to his disciples. This scripture is associated with the spiritual pruning that we, as believers, must experience in order to bear fruit. Jesus is the vine, we are his branches, everything in our lives that does not bear fruit gets CUT! Whatever we ask in Jesus name, God will give us. That’s good, but what does this have to do with being a mother? I say it has EVERYTHING to do with being a mother…
Jesus said, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you…”
This tells me God planned, before the ages of time, that I would be the mother of I’Naru and Paquito. God did not eeny-meeny-miny-moe me. I was hand selected to be the mother of my precious children. And you, my mother friend, have also been ordained to usher the purpose of your children into this world. No one else in this world can be the mother that you can be.
“... so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last…”
The seeds from our wombs are blossoming before us. As mothers we delight in the tiniest details of development because it reminds us of how hard it is to grow. Jesus is not referring to children in the context of this verse. Jesus is referring to the fruit of the spirit, but I still see a stronger connection to motherhood here...
I think of my children as my greatest pruners. I see how God utilizes my yearning to be a good mother as a pruning mechanism. Whatever language I don’t want my children to adopt, whatever unhealthy habits I don’t want them to inherit, I ask for the Holy Spirit to continue that good work in me and remove all those negative habits (Philippians 1:9). Just as I surrender to remove whatever behavior is not worth modeling, I surrender to adopt whatever attitude and perspective (Philippians 4:8) is worth modeling, so that my children can have an example of true and proper worship (Romans 12:1) in their lives.
“... fruit that will last…”
There is a reason why a diet rich in fresh fruits and vegetables is the best preventative medicine; they possess all the nutrients that we need to have healthy thriving lives. God gardens our lives so that our fruit can be the nutrients the people around us can be nourished by and this especially includes our children. Is your fruit healthy for the spiritual development of your children?
“...and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.”
Being a mother is no easy task; it's a lifelong project of love. The best most exciting part of this whole piece is that WHATEVER WE ASK IN JESUS NAME, THE FATHER WILL GIVE YOU! I don't know about you, but I ask God to help me be the mother He knows I can be. On days where I am feeling especially tired and weak, God promises me that in my weakness, He is strong (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).
So next time you start to hear that voice of self-doubt that triggers all the other domino-effect insecurities, remember you were chosen to be the mother of _________ (your child/s name here). If God called you to motherhood, He will equip you with everything you need to love, respect, and nurture the lives He entrusted you with.
Judith is a mother of two precious toddlers (so pray for her). She has over 10 years of experience working with young people in the community of Humboldt Park as a mentor/educator. She has always loved reading and writing, and she looks forward to sharing this journey with you.